Dark Sploosh

I can't even begin to tell you how impressed with this I am. I've been looking for a well written multi-chapter work here, and I think I finally found it. ...

Here we go again. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but roll my eyes at your protagonist's name. As this so far seems to be set in a realistic and ...

I'll tell you right now, I'm interested by whatever you mean when you list the genre as gender blender. That initial impression aside, here's what I think. I haven't seen ...

Okay then, let's see. I'll admit I'm not used to short stories at all. Whenever I read something like this I instinctively assume it's the first chapter of something, so ...

Okay then, this was my thought process as I read this piece. That first huge paragraph had me thinking that you were falling into purple prose, and my ability to ...

Well, after reading through this and the reviews that are already here, I realize that the reason it's so hard for me to find stuff to criticize is because you've ...

This is the first story I've given a gold star on this site so far. I think that sets the mood for this review, or at least I want to ...

Well, this is a nice bit of antidote after Twilight destroyed vampires for me forever. This review is going to be shorter than the ones I usually write, chiefly because ...

I never bother to go through a chapter play-by-play and point out every little error (tried it once, hated it), and there are always other people who do that, so ...

Hey. Usually I don't have a lot of great things to say early on in anything. I only gush about stuff I like after I've become engrossed in a story ...

Hmm...this one threw me off at first, because I'm not used to reading something in the present tense. Not that I'm going to hold that against the work, of course. ...

Alrighty, here we go. I'll start with some advice that I give a lot of my peers' work, and that is: SLOOOOOOOOOOOW DOWN. The pacing is much, much too quick. ...

Good enough, although I noticed quite a few spelling errors. Also, the pacing seemed off at times. When you start out, it seems to be from Steven's point of view, ...